Always There
by Kazters
Summary: Set after s1, a 12 year old boy has been charged with murder for after stabbing his father, this has affected Will McAvoy himself a child of abuse, the only person who can provide comfort is Mackenzie McHale
1. Chapter 1

**This has potential to be a longer story. But set after the end of s1 a Will and Mac fic, as always comments are appreciated, especially if anyone wants to read more. Again I apologise for any spelling or grammatical errors. **

It had been a rough day for all involved. A 12 year old boy had been arrested and charged with murder after he stabbed his drunken father who was attacking his mother and younger siblings. This wasn't always the type of story that was covered on Newsnight; however Will McAvoy was quite adamant that it should be.

He had been in a funny mood for the past few weeks he seemed lost in his thoughts when he wasn't required to be part of the conversation or when he thought people weren't looking. Today things had been worse, he was more grumpy and snippy with his comments it was almost like having the old Will back. Mackenzie McHale was constantly giving him her concerned look and chewing on her lip. She only did this when she was concerned. Will was constantly avoiding her gaze and was escaping from her at the end of the rundown meeting at 12 and again at 6.

Will got through the broadcast with no problem he was of course the consummate professional although to those who knew Will they could see something behind his eyes that they hadn't seen before and weren't sure what it was. Mackenzie barely spoke during the broadcast leaving will to it unless she really had to, she hadn't said a word to him during the broadcast about Duncan James with 12 year old murder suspect as she knew it was a hard enough segment for Will without her commentating.

As the rest of the team left for Hang Chews and tuna jerky Mackenzie stayed back saying she had some work to do. No one was fooled they knew she was staying to check on Will.

Will was in his office a hand on the side of his head the other holding a large glass of scotch he had poured himself the open bottle next to it. He was twisting the glass on the table, completely lost in his own thoughts about this 12 year old. Will knew what it was like to grow up with a father who was an alcoholic and who was physically and mentally abusive to his wife and children. Will had been this boy; he had done the same thing to his father when he was in the 4th grade he had stood up to his father who was trying to beat his mother.

Wills mother was never attacked again, that didn't mean to say Will's father stopped being abusive. From that moment on until he left the family home Will took the full force of his father's rage to protect his family. Sometimes Will was saved by punching his father out other times he was hurt quite badly while his family pleaded with his father to stop. Will's father left when he was 14 but the effects of that abuse had never left Will, it was a defining moment in his life the moment he stepped up to be his father's punching bag. That wasn't the relationship a child should have with their father or with their mother, he shouldn't have had to have been her protector. But Will loved his mother his death still affected him 10 years later. He hadn't seen his father in a lot longer and he didn't know what he would do if he saw him.

Mackenzie left her office and walked towards Wills, she knew what would be going through his mind. She knew Will would be indentifying with this boy. Will had told her one drunken night when they were together about his father, and what he had done, it had taken a lot for Will to open up to her . Mackenzie was sure he wouldn't have been able to tell her if he hadn't been drunk. This brought Mackenzie back to how Will felt about her, he couldn't tell her when he was sober but could when he was high.

Will kept everything close to his chest, he was so protective of his heart that it took so much for Mackenzie to be allowed in but once he let her in her life changed, she learnt about why Will was the way he was, she had then betrayed him by cheating with Bryan.

Mackenzie knew this story would affect Will not just because he had thought he had killed his father once, but because Will was this boy. She was surprised by how much it was hurting her seeing him like this. She didn't hide the fact from anyone that she still loved him and wanted to be with her, and she was sure Will felt the same. But seeing Will like he had been the past few weeks since the story about Duncan Jones had broken he had been restless despondent and really very grumpy had been heartbreaking. She hoped he would let her in, Things had been so much better between them since Brian had left and when he had gotten out of hospital he had made some real changes in his life not just on what he ate.

Mackenzie didn't knock she just walked into Wills office he didn't even notice her come in.

"Will" said Mackenzie softly. Still he didn't look up he really was lost in what ever his mind was focusing on.

Mackenzie walked around Wills desk and was standing right beside him before he noticed she was there.

"Hey" said Mackenzie her heartbreaking at the look on Will's face.

"Drink" he asked pointing to the bottle.

"Ok" said Mackenzie going to get her own glass and bringing it back down. Will poured her a shot of Scotch and she sat down on his desk facing him.

"What's going on Will" She said giving him a look that conveyed she knew where his mind was at.

Will knew better than to try to say he was fine, Mackenzie knew too much about him to let this go.

"I'm ok, just having a hard time with this Duncan Jones thing" said Will softly avoiding Mackenzie's gaze.

"Will stand up, there is something i need to do" said Mackenzie

"What?" said Will looking at her.

"I said Stand up" said Mackenzie standing up and flattening her skirt.

Will didn't move so Mackenzie took his hands and pulled him up out of his chair. They stood for a moment gazing into each other's eyes. Will had no idea what she was going to do next. Mackenzie pulled him into the tightest hug she wanted to tell Will how she felt, she wanted to tell Will she understood and she was here for him, that she loved him more than her words could express. At first Will didn't respond, and Mackenzie hugged him harder drinking in the smell of him. They hadn't been this close since Valentine 's Day when he had hugged her.

"Mac I" began Will softly

"It's ok Billy" said Mackenzie. As the use of the word Billy hit wills ears he pulled his arms around her pulling her into a tight hug. He smelt her hair, her perfume, he felt warm and most importantly he felt safe with Mackenzie's petite frame against his.

He was not ashamed to admit the depth of what he was feeling, he could fear wet tears rolling down his face at the memory of his mothers face seeing his father beating him with a belt he could see Mackenzie telling him she had been cheating and his heart breaking into a thousand pieces. He could see himself at his mother's funeral and he could see this 12 year old in jail who won't know what to feel.

Mackenzie felt Will pull her tighter, he really needed this physical contact. She knew he was crying she could feel the wetness and she just put more feeling into her part of the hug. They were in for a long night, Will needed to talk and Mackenzie knew he would talk to her she understood, she was after all part of the problem.

Should i continue?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Mackenzie was on her tiptoes to stay in this hug, Will was bent down Mackenzie could feel his weight on her shoulders and there was nowhere else she should rather be. Will was drinking in the smell of her, the feel of her skin through her blouse. He could feel Mackenzie's love for him radiating through her body into his own heart. Tears were still falling, more out of anger that these memory's and feelings had been reawaken.

Will broke the hug and sat back down in his chair Mackenzie made a big deal of sorting her shirt so that Will had time to wipe his eyes which he did with the back of his hand, grateful that she wasn't watching he didn't want her to think he was weak. She sat back down in front of him leaning on his desk waiting for Will to make the first move.

"Sorry about that" said Will avoiding her piercing eyes instead staring past her. His voice was hollow, it didn't sound like the Will she knew and loved.

"You have nothing to be sorry about Billy" said Mackenzie pushing hair behind her ear trying to stop herself from moving closer to him.

Will took a large gulp of his drink although steadying himself for he knew what was going to come.

"This 12 year old" began Will but he didn't seem to have the words.

"Is you" said Mackenzie softly. She knew the extent of the abuse Will had faced at the hands of his father but she also knew there were things she didn't know and she had a feeling she was about to find this out and the thought of more pain that Will had had to endure broke her heart .

"Yeah" said Will taking another sip of his drink and lighting up a cigarette.

"Will you can talk to me about this, you have done it before" said Mackenzie

"Things were different then Mac" said Will and Mackenzie felt the stab of guilt even now he could still bringing up what she did with Brian when he needed her help.

"They were but I am still here" she said stiffly picking up her own drink and taking a sip.

Now was not the time to get into all their relationship stuff, Will knew it was a conversation that they needed to have but this wasn't the time.

"Why has this kid got inside my head?" Will asked more to himself than to Mackenzie.

"I don't know" Said Mac sadly but a small part of her was happy it had, Will had so many issues linked to his father that he just pushed down inside of him instead of dealing with them.

"Do you know what it is like to be scared to come home from school because you don't know what you are going to find? Your mother bleeding, or your father so drunk he thinks you are someone else and trying to punch you for stealing money." said Will Bitterly.

"No" Said Mackenzie she was realising she didn't really need to speak, Will was going to do it all and she was just needed to listen.

"Or he would tell my sisters and I off for playing too loudly or because we made voices when we played with our toys he thought we were crazy." Said Will

"It got to the point where my sister would go to a friend's after school because she couldn't come home, she was scared, she didn't want to watch him drink and treat us this way he did, she would come home at dinner time when she knew mom would be there. This made no difference if he was going to kick, punch or scream at us mom being there didn't stop him."

Will put his cigarette out "And yet he is still alive and she died" Will could feel tears burning at his eyes again he angrily brushed a tear away and poured more Scotch. He offered more to Mackenzie filling up her glass he caught a look in her eye and saw emotion and love for him in those eyes and he felt a small sense of comfort.

"Did no one notice what was going on" Asked Mac

"What goes on behind closed doors stays behind closed doors, it was known he was a drinker and could be violent but no one did anything about it, bruises were well hidden, that is what it was like then"

"Oh Will" said Mackenzie placing her hand over Wills, he took it and she left it in place.

"The only difference between you and Duncan is that you didn't kill your father" said Mackenzie.

There was a long pause before Will spoke again

"I thought i had not long before he left" said Will

Mackenzie had no words she had no idea what was going through Wills mind at this point, he hadn't told her this when they had spoken about his childhood before.

"It wasn't long before he left, I had got home from school early and he was really going at mom, I tried to pull him off her and he punched me in the face gave me a black eye. I grabbed the first thing to hand which was a bag with cans of beer and banged it off his head, he fell to the ground and i thought he was dead" said Will his breath ragged and heavy. Mackenzie squeezed his hand and moved as close to him as she could. She needed him to know she was there for him that he wasn't going through this alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm not as happy with this chapter as I wanted to be, I think perhaps there is one chapter left after this one. **

Mackenzie was now standing directly in front of will leaning against the desk still holding his hand. She was trying to decide what to say next. She didn't have the words; she couldn't understand how Will must have felt at such a young age to think he had murdered his father. This was the basis of Will, his whole life philosophy was built on these experiences as a child. Will was so closed if it came across as cold, he didn't forgive and forget, he struggled to move on and he buried his head in the sand and didn't like to deal with things he would just take himself out of the situation. When Mac told him about her affair with Brian she could see his heart breaking, she could see how she had betrayed his trust, he had let her into his heart and she had not just broken it but stamped all over it. Instead of staying with Mac and fighting for their relationship he just left he couldn't bring himself to work with her let alone see her. He had taken annual leave and Mackenzie wasn't there when he got back and she seen him or heard from him again until North Western.

Mackenzie remembered that look of pure hate in Wills eye when he saw her for the first time in the Newsroom over a year ago, that look gave her chills, she could feel his hate, anger and pain radiating through him. It was all making sense why he had been treating her the way he had. He simply couldn't help it, he was built this way because of his father. Will couldn't cope with betrayal let alone from people who he loved and were meant to love him.

"What happened next" she asked softly pushing those thoughts out of her head she felt even more guilty about her Brian if that was even possible.

"I checked mom was ok gave her a towel as she was bleeding, my mind was racing all I could think was this is it we are free I actually felt happy. I was planning in my head what I would say to the police, I would tell the truth tell them he was attacking mom and I couldn't get him off her and i picked up the nearest thing to me and hit him. I didn't intend to kill him just to get him to stop hurting her. I would have gone to jail to protect them from him." Will moved to the edge of his chair, he was holding Mackenzie's hand with both of his hands he brought his mouth to it, he was clearly reliving this memory as he was describing it his eye were lost in thought. Mackenzie brought her spare hand to Wills head and stroked his Hair. She used to do this when he was stressed it calmed him.

"Mom was hysterical she was annoyed at me for hurting him, go figure I had just saved her from a beating and she was annoyed at me" said Will a littler bitterly

"Perhaps she was in shock"

"Not once did we think to check him to see if he was breathing, because he had just gone down a small trickle of blood at the side of his head" Continued Will as if Mackenzie hadn't said a word

"I had the phone in my hand to phone the police, when he groaned and moved!" said Will looking at Mac "He was alive, Mac"

Will placed his head on Mackenzie's stomach he wrapped his arms around her waist, he was sobbing into her she could feel his hot wet tears on her shirt Mackenzie bent down and wrapped herself around Will, kissing his hair telling him "it's ok Billy". Only twice in the time she had known Will had she seen him cry. The first time on the anniversary of his mother's death and he was really drunk and high and he had just lost it and cried his heart out. Mackenzie had sat with him on the floor for hours while he cried and shared things with her he hadn't with anyone else about his father. The other time had been when she had told him about Brian and broken her life apart.

"I was so disappointed Mac, he wasn't dead, I wanted my father to be dead, I wanted to be the one to have done it, what kind of person does that make me,?" Will asked almost pleading with her, His eyes shining with more tears.

Mackenzie Looked into his eyes it was like looking into the face of a small boy, this was not the Will she knew, Will was a scared little boy who needed reassurance.

"No Billy you aren't a bad person, and you weren't then either, you're the best man I know. I can't begin to imagine what you and your family went through, but wanting that abuse to be over doesn't make you a bad person, but.." she didn't know how to end her sentence

"I still wanted to murder someone" said Will gruffly

"Yes" said Mackenzie

Will McAvoy was not one to show emotions, yeah he was grumpy but he didn't get emotional it wasn't his thing. He wasn't going to show weakness to anyone. He really couldn't understand why now he was feeling like this, was it because Mac was here and he knew she loved him and understood that this case with this 12 year old would have affected him, was it because his emotions were more at the forefront because of the way he felt about her. He wasn't sure but all he knew was he was sobbing into Mackenzie and she was hugging him back making him feel like it was ok to be upset, like he wasn't a horrible person. He didn't want to be anywhere else with anyone other than Mackenzie.

"Billy, you are not a bad person, you loved your mother and siblings you were trying to protect them,"

"They didn't see it like that, they were angry with me because I might have killed him. When he woke mom told him he had fallen over he had forgotten what he was annoyed at with mom about, he didn't ask why I had a black eye he just opened a can of the beer I had hit him with" said Will turning his face from her stomach to speak. He was still hugging into her so tight that Mackenzie thought he was going to snap her in half.

"They were annoyed with you" asked Mac still stroking his hair struggling to get her head around this.

"Yup, it took mom a long time to realise that she didn't deserve his punishment, she was abused as much as us, and he had her scared that she wouldn't be able to cope without him. When he finally left she flourished" said Will sadly

Mackenzie hugged Will more, she lifted his head and pressed her lips against his forehead she saw Will close his eyes as she did so he pressed his head more into her.

"Have you ever told Abe or Doctor Habib about this?" asked Mackenzie

"No, and i don't plan to" said Will simply.

"Will I really think you need to speak to someone who can really help about this" said Mackenzie

"I've told the most important person, i feel like a load has been lifted, you know everything about me Mac" said Will

"But I cant help you Billy, you need to talk this through in therapy so that you will be able to hear of abuse cases and it not bring up these memory's" Mac replied almost pleadingly she knew Will belonged in therapy more than anyone else she knew and she also knew that since he had began seeing Doctor Habib the change in Will had been dramatic. He was willing to make changes and sacrifices for others that he simply wouldn't have done before. He was more willing to forgive Mac for Brian than he had been before. He was back on medication that was helping him.

"Mac do you hear of people being stabbed and not get reminded of what happened to you?" Will Asked nervously this was the first time he had mentioned what had happened to her. He felt Mackenzie stiffen.

"Thats different"

"How, we are all products of the things that have happened to us Mac" said Will sitting back in his chair and lighting up another cigarette.

**As usual comments are LOVELY any feedback is appreciated as well. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter done, it was hard to think of the start because its the last one (I'm sure you are all devastated****. Thanks for all the feedback on this story means a lot and of course I don't own the Newsroom oh how I wish I did there would be more than 10 episodes a series and we wouldn't have to wait until June for more. **

Mac and Will were sat together in Wills office they had been there over an hour but neither cared they didn't want to be anywhere else other than with each other. Mac couldn't imagine leaving Will alone in the mood that he was in at the moment, and Will had realised he needed someone who understood him, who he could really talk to who wasn't paid to listen. As good as doctor Habib was he couldn't give hugs like Mackenzie and he couldn't really express that vulnerable side to anyone other than Mac, she had his heart and knew all his secrets, his flaws and had seen the best and worst of him. Wills mother used to say "if you cant handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" and Will thought this was one of those situations where this was true.

They had broken the hug but he was holding Mackenzies hand rubbing circles with his thumb on the back of her hand, Mac who was sat on Wills Desk looking around she was obviously waiting for Will to break the silence.

Something on Wills desk had caught her attention, viewing figures, statistics on what the public thought of Will and the show.

"I thought you Charlie stopped your meetings with Reece about Viewing figures?" asked Mac picking up the closest packet of information.

"Never hurts to know what the public are thinking" said Will evasively.

"It all makes sense now" said Mackenzie trying to catch Wills eye. "your obsession with how much other people love you"

"Mac what are you taking about" Wills voice was small and quiet he knew what she had figured out.

"You cant get your dad to like you, so you want everyone else to, oh Will, you don't need random people to like you for it to mean something" said Mac slipping off the desk and sitting on Will's knee.

Will didn't know what to think or do with Mackenzie sitting on his knee, it felt so natural he could feel her comforting him without her even doing so. He felt warm and safe with her so close he could smell her perfume, he could see the small hidden freckles on her face the dark circles under her eyes that she had tried to hide with makeup.

"The people who matter Love you Will that has to mean something" Said Mac taking Wills face to meet her own with her hand. She looked into those watery eyes unsure what his reaction was going to be.

"There isn't a person on this team who doesn't love you Will, who wouldn't walk over hot coals for you or do anything to make you happy. When you were ill in hospital they were all worried sick about you."

"My dad..." began Will

"You can't make people love you Will" said Mac Softly looking into his eyes. She wasn't sure what she was seeing in those eyes Will was doing that dismissive looking away thing that he does with a slight roll of the eye like telling mac with his eyes Yeah right.

"If the people who are meant to love you don't what does that leave you with" said Will

"I don't think your father didn't love you, I think he really didn't consider your feelings in anything that he did. He was selfish, its meant to be pre-progamed into parents to love and care for their child to protect them from harm. Your dad was an alcoholic it isn't an excuse far from it but i don't think he had any control over some of his actions with the addiction."

"Bollocks Mac, he had control he could have stopped drinking at anytime, he could have chosen not to beat me with a belt, just like i could have chosen not to almost kill him, we are the products of the decisions we make. I spent my whole early childhood trying to make him love me, to make him proud so that he wouldn't hurt us physically or mentally and it didn't work. Of course that was going to affect me i would be worried if it didn't, but it doesn't make me want everyone to love me. Look at the last team I had they loved me so much they all left to go to 10 o'clock" said Will simply.

"I just mean"

"I know what you mean Mac but i don't see it, i like to know the stats, i like data, i like to break it down and find out what people think about the show, about me so i can learn, develop and grow from it" said Will placing his hand on Mac's

"What about this kid" said Mac

"Im going to pay all his legal fees" said Will

"Really?" said Mac with a proud smile

"Yeah this could easily have been me, i am this kid it just so happens my dad didn't die, he should have but he didn't." Will said looking into Macs eyes

"Im so proud of you Will" her eyes filling with tears

"Its nothing really Mac"

"Can i ask a you something" asked Will looking into Macs eyes

"Anything"

"Will you come to Doctor Habib's with me when i go to talk this all over with him?"

Mackenzie noticed an almost begging look in Wills eyes, he really needed her.

"Of course just tell me when and where" said Mac with a small Smile. She was so proud that Will was willing to go talk about this with a psychologist Will needed professional help to get through this and Mac wasn't even close to being one. She knew he had spoken about his father in therapy before but he needed to open up more about it, and if she could help she would.

Will leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks Mac"

Mackenzie took this to be the conversation was over and it was time for her to go. She stood up and walked over to the door.

"Call me anytime if you need anything" said Mac

"I will" and she left.

Will sat alone at his desk took out his cheque book and began filling in the first payment. He was going to save this boy as Mackenzie had saved him.

THE END

**Sorry it wasn't much of an ending, im not happy with it, i may revisit it in the future, but onto more one shots i think**

**Comments and criticism are appreciated**

**Thanks for reading**


End file.
